you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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