My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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