i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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