You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
