the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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