i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize