I love black thongs
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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