I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
