I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
