Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
from now on my penis is your penis
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
