Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
