We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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