If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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