pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
