Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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