idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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