Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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