We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
