is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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