Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My dick has a subreddit
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize