He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
