he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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