Having a random hookup so left but love u
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
