If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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