nut hugger
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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