1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
