Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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