You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
