Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
