great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize