I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
