How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you traded sex for a burrito?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
did you just send me my own nude
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
