It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
