I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
