She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dick very happy bro
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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