They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't deserve a penis
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
