They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
