Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
