for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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