OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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