There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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