I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
