Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
