There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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