I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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