So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
