Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
