haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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