your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
