just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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