so explain again why im purple
no
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
