I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
