i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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