I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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