Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
