at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
