i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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