one might say we're banned from that church
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
