I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
