I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize