not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
