I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize