Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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